NTLBayArea < 2004 Meetings

Notes from NTL Bay Area Meetings 2004

Meeting Dec 15, 2004 (Mary Ann's)

Write-up of the NTL mtg. Wed., Dec. 15

Present: Craig Schuler, Flo Hoylman, Jack Sherwood, Scott Bristol, Nan Wydler, Tony Kortens, Judith Noel, Paula Jones, Joe Luft, David Bradford and Mary Ann Huckabay

Eleven of us met at Mary Ann's in Berkeley to "harvest this year" i.e., explore what this year has been about for each of us. Craig led us in a rich and intimate session in which we were asked to "appreciate" this past year, which might mean any of the following:

what I appreciated (positive outcomes)
what I appreciated (recognition of the magnitude/impact of an aspect of this year on us)
what has appreciated (what experiences came as added value, in the way that an investment appreciates over time)

We had three sequential layers of sharing. After a robust check-in, we first shared what personally stands out to us about this past year. Then we moved to interpersonal appreciations, in which we recognized individual others' (in the room) impact on us personally. And finally, we moved to a round of appreciating what this local NTL group means to us, and its role in our lives. Over wine and cheese, we ended by discussing:

-- a possible change in one of our norms of how we operate with each other in these meetings, which will get taken up more fully at a future meeting,
--that we might want another day-long T-group together,
--that this group  functions well despite quite fluid membership/attendance from one mtg. to the next,
-- the idea of this group being a  lifelong "home" group for us...

The dates for the next two Bay Area NTL mtgs. have been changed: we will meet Jan. 25th (rather than Jan. 26) and March 1st (rather than March 2nd).

The January meeting will be at Nan Wydler's house in Portola Valley.

Topic to be lead by Scott Bristol : T-grouping vs. T-group.

• In a group skilled in disclosure, feedback, and risk taking such as ourselves… can we move into T-grouping mode of operation?  
• What elements are missing in our structure that we would need to commit to in order to make our group task more aligned with t-grouping (ie. declare personal learning goals)? 
• Is this something we want to experiment with?

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Meeting Oct 19, 2004 (Jack and Flo's House Boat)

11 of us met at Jack and Flo's great houseboat! [David Bradford, Scott Bristol, Gary Dexter, Flo Hoylman, Mary Ann Huckabay, Paula Jones, Judith Noel, Craig Schuler, Jack Sherwood, Janet Theusen and Nan Wydler]

Nan led us in a series of activities drawn from Will Schutz's work that included some non-verbals, visioning and personal self-disclosure in smaller groups.  This allowed for some valuable personal learning as well as deepening our feeling of connectedness with each other and cohesiveness of the group.

During wine and cheese we had a rich discussion of the personal impact of these activities as well as how they might be used in a T-group setting.

Future Meetings

December 15th at Mary Ann's [note change in time and location from what was announced before].  The topic will be some personal year-end closing in discussion what the year has meant to us (and what the other members mean to us).

January 26th at Nan's
March 2nd at David's
April 20th at Janet's

---------------------------------

The next meeting of the NTL BayArea will be on October 19 at Flo Hoylman and Jack Sherwood's,
detailed directions below:
     1:30-2:00     Reconnecting nibbles and drinks
     2:00-5:30     Check-in followed by Experiential Agenda designed by Nan Wydler
     5:30-6:30     Wrap-up with wine and cheese
     Dinner together-- whoever chooses to do so.  

Agenda:
Experiential Learning:  Getting from our head to learning from our bodies and hearts.
Nan has adapted these ideas from working with Will Schutz and others.  However, on this day there will not be time to talk about Will!
     Many times, we ask participants to tell us how they feel to get them out of their heads.  For some, it is a long laborious process and for others they can't quite get there, so the group gets overly involved in "feeling reading."  I have explored different methods that can support the individuals in the group express there own unique feelings and respect the feelings of others. None of the experiences are embarrassing and anyone can always watch.   The activities are based on both intrapersonal dynamics and group dynamics.  We will do the exercises rather than talk about them.  During the wrap-up session we will have time to talk about them analyze and most importantly add to them or create new ones.  I am anticipating a fun afternoon in which we can bring experiential learning to our own group.  It will not matter whether you have come to this group before or are a long time participant.
Things to ponder on your drive to our meeting:
*    What is your definition of truth or openness?
*    Is it possible to tell the truth in the workplace?
*    How much choice do you have?
*    On a scale of 0 to 9, zero meaning I have no choice, things just happen and 9 meaning I choose everything, what would your number be?
*    How do you define choice?
*    How important is choice in a T-group?
*    What is your unique philosophy that you bring to a group of people?
*    What has promoted or hindered you from bringing that philosophy to this group?
*    Are you willing to share all of your answer?  If yes, why?  If no, why?
*    What is your favorite experiential exercise?  What are situations where you use it?
*    Finally, is anyone interested in putting together a "field manual" of exercises?
*    There is no right, wrong, good, or bad to the answers or the exercises.

Meeting Sept 9, 2004 ( Nan Wydler's)

The Bay Area NTL Group met on September 9, 2004, at Nan Wydler's house in Portola Valley, CA. Attending were David Bradford, Scott Bristol, Frank Friedlander, Mary Ann Huckabay, Tony Kortens, Craig Schuler, Jack Sherwood, and Nan Wydler.

Folks began arriving around 1:30 p.m., for some unstructured socializing.

A little after 2:00 p.m., we engaged in an extended check-in and catch-up discussion, wherein each person talked about things that have been happening in their lives recently, and about how they were feeling as we started this session. These discussions are for me (and I believe for others) an important part of our community building and maintaining. I found it moving to once again hear (and disclose) the things that matter to us - things both joyful and distressing.

After a short break, we discussed an "administrative" issue. We decided to invite Paula Jones to our future meetings. Paula is a senior OD professional in the Bay Area, and a good friend to many of us, and we decided to make this exception to our NTL-Member-only attendance guideline.

At this point, around 3:30 p.m., we realized several things: two people had to leave around 4:00 p.m.; 2 more people had to leave around 5:00 p.m.; there wasn't enough time or continuity to do justice to the activities that Nan had designed for this session. So, we decided to save Nan's design for our next meeting at Jack Sherwood's and Flo Hoylman's place on October 19, 2004.

We then spent some time brainstorming about possible topics for our future meetings. Then Nan led us through a nice physical exercise involving the extension (rotation) of our arms and torso, and ways to release our minds from our usual movements and expectations, and thus increasing our range of physical movement. We subsequently talked about how our minds sometimes restrict us, in general and in t-groups, and about some ways to release ourselves from this.

Thanks to Nan for hosting and for being flexible about carrying her agenda over to our next meeting at Jack's and Flo's.
 

At Nan Wydler's

Time:

• 1:30 reconnecting and treats

• 2:00 to 5:30 overview and experiential learning for insights about our group and ourselves

• 5:30 to 6:00 wrap-up: wine and cheese

• 600 dinner for those who want to continue our dialog or start a new one. (At one of our two little Portola Valley    restaurants)

Topic: (now that we can get here; are dressed and organized)

Getting from our head to learning from our bodies and heart, Experiential Learning.

I have adapted this work from working with Will Schutz and others. There will not be time to talk about Will!

Many times, we ask our participants to tell us how they feel to get them out of their heads. For some it is a long laborious process for others they can’t quite get there, so the group gets overly involved in “feeling reading” .I have explored different methods that can support the individuals in the group express there own unique feelings and respect the feelings of others. None of the experiences is embarrassing and anyone can always watch. The activities, which will be based on both intrapersonal dynamics and group dynamics. We will do the exercises rather than talk about them. During the wrap-up session we will have time to talk about them analyze and most importantly add to them or create new ones. Craig and I are anticipating a fun afternoon in which we can bring experiential learning to our own group. It will not matter whether you have come to this group before or are a long time participant.

Meeting July 7, 2004

The Bay Area NTL Group met July 7th [David Bradford, Scott Bristol, Gary Dexter, Flo Hoylman, Lanz Lowen, Joe Luft, Judith Noel, Craig Schuler, Jack Sherwood, Janet Thuresen & Nan Wydler]

Scott presented the research of Paul Ekman on the difference between feelings (one's internal state) and emotions (what gets expressed through facial non-verbals), what happens when there is a discrepency (in feeling and intensity) and what triggers these.  We then explored the relevance of this to T-group training including the intriguing idea of should we take Ekman's training on how to read non-verbal cues or could that get us to start making

TOPIC for JULY 7 Meeting.

How do you intentionally trigger your emotions as a component of self-disclosure (a fundamental t-group skill)? Review the 10 triggers identified by Ekman. Which triggers are appropriate for t-groups?

Recent literature distinguishes between feelings and emotions. Emotions are preconscious, observable, and may or may not be conscious. Feelings are an internal phenomena, that may or may not be preceded by an emotional display. Using Ekman's guidelines we will review our intentional use of emotions vs. feelings in interpersonal communications and T-groups.

Scott

Meeting will be at David's.
 

Meeting May 26, 2004

Agenda: "How do our personal issues influence our predominant T-group style?"

At David's

Eight of us met on the 26th to discuss "personal values and T-group style." [Davuid Bradford, Scott Bristol, Flo Hoylman, Tony Kortens, Joe Luft, Judith Noel, Carole Robin & Craig Schuler].  It was a rich, personal discussion as we explored how our past experiences and personal values inflenced our training style.  We also discussed ways those same personal characteristics might "trap" us in functioning less effectively than we would wish.  Since several of the members had worked together, we were able to discuss the extent to which our style changed depending on the co-trainer.

After wine & cheese, we explored the relationship between confronting others and validating the other's position.  Were these complementary or contradictory?  This related to the use of emotions and Scott Bristol shared some of Paul Ekman's research on the expression of emotions.

That seemed intriguing enough so that it will be the subject of our next meeting on July 7th at Arlene and Ted Scott's place.  Scott Bristol will lead the session that will be partially conceptual and partially personal/experiential on the communication of feelings.

Meeting April 14, 2004 

MaryAnn, Scott, Jack, Flo, Frank, and a late cameo appearance by Craig made for a warm and intimate discussion of purpose and life's meaning at Carole's house.

After an extended check-in we talked about whether we have pushed ourselves to our limits and really tested ourselves and how this might be connected to purpose.  This led to a discussion regarding how some of us belittle ourselves by diminishing our accomplishments.  We discussed how some people have a central life's purpose from a young age that remains consistent through their life, and how inspiring that is.  We wrestled with the word "purpose" and whether it implies "calling" or being in service to something external to oneself.  For many of us, "meaning" and "meaningful experience" were words with which we could connect better than "purpose".  Many of us have created more purpose/meaning in our lives by deliberately choosing to spend more of our time with people who seek and enjoy the very kind of conversation we were having --and the kinds of conversations we often engage in at our NTL meetings.

We also explored the feeling of "flow" we experience, especially when we are teaching and feel fully grounded and "at the top of our game".  For some of us, that experience was synonymous with a sense of meaning and purpose. Another common theme in this conversation was the joy of co-creation and relationality.  Other topics we explored included archtypes, identity, and the values that underlie the field of OD (and just how "open minded" we are or aren't toward folks whose values are different than ours.)

We finished our wine and munchies and shifted our attention to the agenda for the next meeting-- we settled on a single interesting question that combines both personal and professional dimensions: "How do our personal issues influence our predominant T-group style?"

Our next meeting is at David's on Wednesday, May 27.  Please note that we do not have a venue for any meetings after the one at David's in May so that will be an agenda item for that meeting as well.

Regards to all,

Carole Robin

Agenda:  How does our purpose in life change with age?
Thoughts about aging at any age, thoughts about health, reinventing
oneself, or retirement at any age.  Life planning.

Meeting March 17, 2004

Notes: 

Hi, All...  Seven of us met at Flo & Jack's on March 17:
Judith, Scott, Ted, Tony, Tracy and Flo & Jack.  We met on
Janet Theusen's houseboat in Sausalito, and it was acknowledged
that the next time we meet there, Janet will be living there
and will be joining our group.
     After our traditional check-in, the agenda was spirit.
Ted led us in meditation during which he read several short
passages from sages in different spiritual traditions.  The
convergence and coherence were evident.
     A philosophical discussion followed and then a spirited
personal sharing of spiritual experiences and practices.
A very stimulating day and our thanks to Ted's inspirational
contributions.

NEXT MEETINGS:
     (1) April 14 at Carole's in Palo Alto
     Agenda:  How does our purpose in life change with age?
Thoughts about aging at any age, thoughts about health, reinventing
oneself, or retirement at any age.  Life planning.
     (2) May 26 at David's in Berkeley
     (3) July 7 site yet to be determined

Location: Jack and Flo's

Agenda.

Working Title: Being Connected to Essence

Part I: Background Info

Many sages in different traditions who have taught about essential spirituality and meaning. What are their teachings about Essence, Existence and the Infinite? We’ll draw on quotations from such sources as the Kabala, Christian mystics like Meister Elkhart and Teresa of Avila, Sufis like Rumi, and from Buddhist or other Eastern sages. Idea is to weave these together and look at the coherence behind and among them.

Part II: Personal Discussion

We propose to talk about personal spiritual journeys, with members sharing what they wish of their approach, path, process or questions. Some questions to stimulate discussion are:

·       What each of our sense of spirituality is, or is connected to
·       Where we are in our own search processes, spiritually: what’s the growing edge?
·       How we each see this, in terms of a journey or other metaphor
·       How our spiritual path connects to our current life passage
·       What’s the dialogue with our ego like these days, regarding our spiritual process or search
·       What teachers or sources of wisdom speak to us
·       Current areas of contribution for us, given our gifts, interests and process

Meeting Jan 28, 2004

Notes

We met on Jan. 28th to discuss the issue of "East Coast" and "Bay Area" training styles.  Although a smaller group than usual [David Bradford, Scott Bristol, Joe Luft, Judith Noel, Craig Schuler, Ted Scott and Jack Sherwood], we had a lively discussion.  We discussed a written case of a T-group incident and it was interesting how different ones of us came at it different ways.

While most of us talked about "using ourselves as instruments of intervention, there was disagreement as to the extent we really did that -- especially the extent to which we were willing to make ourselves vulnerable.  But it was a rich discussion and worth the time.

The next meeting will be on Jack and Flo's Houseboat in Sausalito! on March 17.  As is our usual practice, we will convene around 1:30 for coffee and cake with our session running from 2-6 and ending with wine and cheese.  E-mail Jack if you can make it [jjsherwood@aol.com].

The topic for next time will be on spirit.  Ted proposed this topic by saying "as I get older, I want to be growing steadily closer to Spirit.  Everything else will, at some point, be taken away from me. So Spiritual practice and development, and living in a way that is spiritually nourishing, and appropriate to the current stage of my life, becomes every more important."  Others of us responded by saying that we also wanted to explore this in greater detail.

Agenda

Our next meeting is Wed. Jan 28th at my house [2922 Garber St. [510] 843-2044.

Agenda is what we had planned for the Dec. meeting that was cancelled.

Professional Topic -- To explore whether we are developing a more personal style of training out here which makes much more use of trainer self-disclosure.  Scott and I will develop a short memo on this that will also contain a "case" -- we will discuss how that situation would be handled with the traditional NTL style vs. more personal "Bay Area" style.  Then each of us is encouraged to bring your own case and we can use that to compare to help all of us flesh out what this new style might look like.

Personal Topic -- We had planned to talk about what 2003 meant to us [at our December meeting].  If that still is relevant, that will be our topic.

[There might be another topic.  Had a very interesting session yesterday on Tavi approach and the presenters are interested in exploring doing a weekend workshop that combines Tavi with NTL approaches and they wondered if we were interested.]

Times: 1:30 gather for coffee and cake
           2:00-6:00 our session
        Those who want to, go out for dinner afterwards.

Could you please RSVP if you are coming.

Looking forward to our time together.

David